Returning to work post Max

Tomorrow I must start back to work and leave Ellie and Max at home. I do NOT want to go. I'm lucky and thankful to have Hazel here to look after them at home and make things easier for both me and the kids. I am trying to be strong, but I feel a bit detached to survive it all! It's quite sad! I wonder if we've set the wrong priorities in life by my return to work to live in this house and live the lifestyle we enjoy?

Max's Birthday

Dearest Max,

Looking back on your birthday nearly a year ago it seems so long ago, but perhaps that is a sign of the weak memory you Mamma has.

Daddy and Mommy left for Frederick Memorial Hospital early. We were supposed to check in at 5:30 am. Gramma was meeting us there, but actually beat us there. Daddy took a few photos and videos of the morning. I was so excited to meet you. I was looking forward to it all and knowing a bit more what to expect with you compared to your sister Ellie.

This is the look Mommy has before surgery apparently. If you look at photos from the day Ellie was born, you will recognize the look!

Paperwork is the easy part!

After checkin they insisted I must be wheeled back to the maternity ward in a wheelchair. Mommy's thought was, I made it through 9 months, I can surely do the last 5 minutes walking, but they insisted!

We were quickly settled into a room and they started to hook Mommy up. We were scheduled for the first available OR at 7:30am. I wasn't exactly keen on the morning hours, but figured, I would take what they were giving. It all happened very quickly. I have some vague memories of walking into the OR and having to say bye to your Daddy. He was able to come in right before you were born, but I wanted him there while they settled me in with the anethesia. I had a few tears and Gramma took a few photos, and then the strong nurse held my hand and walked me into the OR. This is the most nerve racking part for Mommy, but it's worth it in the end.

We will skip through the gory details and Mommy's little trauma's and say we had a safe delivery. You were a big healthy boy and I was excited to hear you make your first noises. I laid on the table while they told me about you. Finally after a few minutes they let Daddy bring you over to snuggle me - face to face I got to meet you! You were crying and I wanted to hold and cuddle you and tell you everything was okay. I think you were a little unnerved about leaving mommy's tummy so abruptly. You and I talked while Daddy held you. I kissed you about as many times as I possibly could!

The anethesiologies took a few photos for us:

Max, I was so happy to finally meet you. I couldn't stop touching you and I sure didn't want to ever leave your side!

The mean Frederick hospital policy dictated, much to my protest, that you went with Daddy into the nursery for your first bath and I wasn't allowed to see you until later. That was the absolute longest hour or two of the day for me.

I was so happy when I finally got you back! At 9:19am on your birthday I finally got to hold my Baby Boy whom I had dreamed about since I could remember in my own arms! I love you so much Max!

You were such a good boy. When I held you, you were perfect. The doctors kept wanting to take you away for shots, observation, etc. I just wanted to keep my baby in my arms forever. You and I had been together for 10 months nearly and they weren't getting you away from me easy.

We spend most of the time in the hospital together. I kept you in bed with me most of the time - much to the dismay of Gramma and some of the nurses. You were my baby and I was going to keep you with me.

The morning was quiet and we prepared for your sister to join us after her nap. We decided to name you Max; Mommy really wanted this name becuase it has a strong meaning and I think it's a great manly name. Daddy agreed it was a good strong name too and that you looked like a little Max!

We were ready to introduce Max to his big sister Ellie! Ellie was so excited to meet you:

We then had our first family photo while Ellie visited. Perhaps we aren't all looking our finest, but it sure was a fine moment for Mommy and Daddy!

The first night went pretty well. We found our way. You were awake a lot at night and liked to sleep in the morning from about 6- 12 noon. It took mommy nearly a month to break you of this sleep cycle. That's okay, we made it through!

I enjoyed holding you and trying to teach you to nurse. We relaxed and settled in. Daddy stayed with us to help us becuase Mommy couldn't walk until the next day. It was a buys night with nurses in and out, but I was so happy to finally have my baby boy Max in my arms. Max, you are the dream I always had and meeting you was one of the best days of my life! I love you with all my heart and sole!

Happy almost first birthday big boy! I look forward to decades of fun life filled with love and watching you make your dreams come true! Mommy and Daddy will be here to help you whenever you need us. You are our baby boy now and forever!

Baby #2 Big sonogram

Tomorrow is another big day in my life. Tomorrow I have the 20 week sonogram for baby #2! I'm so excited to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl! I honestly will be excited no matter if it's a boy or a girl. My only prayers are for health! This pregnancy is going okay. I have paint, but it's work it. I lvoe my babies!

Ellie Bean's first birthday

Looking back on so many firsts for Max, I want to try to remember some of Ellie's big days. I started thinking about her first birthday today - November 21, 2008.

We were living on Mapleville near Gramma then. I worked from home for the day so I could spend it mostly with our little bean. We had the first snow of the season this day.

Ellie took her morning nap at home and then went to spend a little time with big cousin Erika at Grammas while I ran a few errans - probably had a work call or something. I picked her up for naptime. I wanted to be with her exactly 1 year from her birth.

I even snuck into her room and took a photo of her right at her birthtime :-)

In the evening I made her a special spice cake with healthy or no icing and invited aunt katie and erika down to sing. We had a nice time. Ellie was pleased with the singing, but not with the cake.

I ended up giving her an Oreo cookie instead. It was this day we learned Ellie would forever love chocolate!

After cake she opened our present - a bike.

It was also right around this very day that she began taking her first steps. It was a nice day and a special day for me getting to be home with Ellie Bean. I love her so much!

Birthday photos with Mommy and Daddy.

The birth of Ellie Grey Cummings

Dear Ellie,
I am writing you this note as you sleep soundly for your nap on your first birthday. I want to provide you my thoughts and memories from the day you were born because it was such a wonderful and amazing day! It’s hard to believe that you are one year old; boy, time sure flies.
The day started early. You were two weeks overdue, so Mommy was scheduled to be induced at Holy Cross Hospital in Silver Springs, MD. We were to arrive there for 8am. Gramma spent the night with Mommy and Daddy in Rockville, so that she could come to the hospital with us. Gramma loves to be there when all her Grandchildren are born.
Mommy woke up early from excitement and nerves. I hadn’t been sleeping well for a lot of the pregnancy, so it was easy to get up and get going. I was ready to have my little girl on the outside so that I could hold and kiss you! Gramma and Daddy had some light breakfast at the house. We took some photos before we left. Gramma and Daddy kept telling Mommy that I had this look on my face that wouldn’t go away. (You can definitely see what they mean if you look at the pictures from the morning.) I think the look meant something along the lines of “Oh my goodness, I have no idea what is going to happen today, but I’m so ready – so let’s get this show on the road!”
After a bit of a long goodbye to Lady Grey, Mommy’s favorite kitty cat, we left for the hospital around 8am and Mommy was so anxious to get there. Daddy drove us and we arrived safely right around 8:30am. Mommy checked in and was into a room by 9am. By 9:10 the doctors had put my ivy in and began the fluids. Dr. Ragnath made his first visit to talk to us about how long we would try inducing natural labor before he would do a C-Section delivery. Mommy was nervous about both and had lots of questions for the Dr. But he was in and out quickly. By 9:30 I was already on the drugs they give you to try to induce contractions. It all happened so fast; I remember being amazed. Gramma and Daddy said I still had those same looks on my face. 
The next couple hours all seem like a blur, still, today. I remember them increasing the medicine and me not feeling any pain. They said I started to have a few contractions, but the contractions were not doing what they were supposed to – preparing Mommy’s body to have Ellie. Mommy watched TV, drank apple juice and even played a little bit of cards with Daddy. He was very accommodating to Mommy’s need to pass the time and the nervousness. Each time the doctor visited us to check on Mommy, he reported that mommy wasn’t dilating.
Gramma and Daddy went to the cafeteria to have lunch while you and Mommy had some quite time in the room. That was the last of our quiet time for many days to come. You were very still and your heart was beating strong. Mommy was hooked up to a machine all morning where she could hear your heart beeting. It was a soothing sound knowing that you were doing okay and happy in there.
By about 1pm Dr. Ragnath admitted what Mommy had realized about 3 weeks ago, Mommy was going to need to have a C-Section. Dr. Ragnath told us that we could wait a few more hours to see if things changed with the drugs, but that he didn’t think they would. He had a feeling that you were too big to come out on your own. After some deliberation with Daddy and Gramma, Mommy decided to go ahead with the C-Section. I was so excited to finally meet you!
Once this decision was made and we informed the Doctors of our choice, things happened so fast. The moments I had waited for my whole life for – having my baby – unfolded before me in no time!
The very nice delivery nurse prepared mommy for the surgery. Daddy packed up all our stuff because after you were born, we would be moved to a new room. Then, Mommy said goodbye to Gramma, which was very hard. Only one person was allowed to come to the operating room with you and Mommy; that was Daddy of course. Mommy and Daddy walked from our room to the Operating room, which was down the hall. Gramma took our picture as we walked by and headed off to the waiting area. Mommy walked right into the operating room and waited while Daddy had to get on some scrubs and a hat they gave him. There were seven or either different doctors and nurses in the room with us. Some of them were to look after you, and some of them were to look after me. We had a good team. They were all very nice.
Mommy was pretty scared because I hadn’t been in surgery before that I could remember. I sat up on the operating table like they asked me to. Then, the anesthesiologist started asking me questions. The next thing I know I was tingly and laying down on the table looking up at lots of lights and doctors and nurses. They were ready to get started. Mommy looked around and didn’t see Daddy and started to panic. I didn’t want you to be born without Daddy there. Luckily, Daddy came in just when Mommy was really starting to panic. (Rumor has is that Mommy wasn’t the most graceful under anesthia.)
You were born very quickly. I’m not sure what happened because I’m not good at surgery stuff; I do know that Daddy watched intently and could tell you a story one day if you wanted. But, what I remember was Dr. Ragnath saying he found you and that you were doing great, but that you had a big head. He said there was no way that you were going to be born the good old fashion way. (So it was a good thing we choose to have the C-Section after all.) I remember the Doctors saying you were doing good, but I couldn’t hear you. They say that all babies cry when they are born, but it took you a couple minutes to decide to follow the norm. Daddy went over to be with you and to take your picture. The doctors worked on putting Mommy back together.
Although the doctors and nurses and Daddy assured me that you were doing great and that you were beautiful and had all your fingers and toes, I still couldn’t wait to see you. The nurses finally brought you over to Mommy so that I could kiss your little forehead for the first time. You were gorgeous and you looked right into my eyes. I was so thankful that you were here! I started crying! I couldn’t wait to hold you. Soon, the doctors had sewed Mommy back together and then the nurses laid you down beside me! That was just the most wonderful moment that I had waited forever for! You were a big girl. You were warm and cuddly and fit right into me just perfectly!
We were off to the recovery room. Mommy was supposed to recover from the epidural while you were supposed to get your first bath and get some clothes on. We were in there for a short time when Gramma appeared. We had been told she wouldn’t be able to see us until we got to our permanent room for a couple hours. But, we had a really nice nurse who went to the waiting room and got Gramma and brought her to us. She was so happy to see us both. She didn’t like missing the birth of her 5 Grandchild! Gramma scooped you into her arms and kissed your cheeks. She held you tight and shed a couple tears of joy for you! Then, Daddy took you with the baby nurse for your first bath!
I must say that it didn’t sound like you enjoyed your first bath as much as you enjoy them today. But you were a good sport about it compared to most I think. When they finally brought you back to me, I was finally able to sit up and try to nurse you for the first time. You were a pro and attempted to nurse right away. Mommy was so happy! I even think I remember singing you a couple songs, though I have no idea what they were and imagine they were a bit loopy, like me at the time.
Once Mommy could sit up and you were all warm and comfy, they whisked us off to our permanent room. Again, you laid with Mommy on the stretcher and off we went. What a whirlwind tour of the hospital in just less than 2 hours!
When we got to our room, we all settled in. Many doctors and nurses were in and out throughout the night checking up on us. This is the part of the day that is the most blurry. I know that Granddaddy, Aunt Katie, Uncle Jerred, Aunt Vicki, Tyler, Emily and G all came to visit and to meet you. They all said you were gorgeous and took turns holding you. Mommy just sat back taking it all in. They all kept asking us what you were called. Mommy wasn’t ready to pick your name yet. Mommy and Daddy had a couple names in mind we were considering, so we wanted to get to know you a little bit before picking out the name that best suited you. SO, despite their repeated requests, we didn’t pick your name until later that night.
Once all our visitors left, you, Mommy and Daddy settled in to relax, talk about your name, and to try to get some sleep. It wasn’t too long before Mommy and Daddy started calling you our Ellie Bean. We agreed to try it out overnight and make a decision in the morning. But, as you know, that stuck with you forever, because you are definitely our Ellie Bean!
I can’t say there was a lot of sleeping that went on during your first night outside the womb. Mostly I think it was due to Mommy itching all over and the nurses waking us up every time we fell asleep because they needed to test us for something. I do remember finally asking Daddy to put you in bed with me, as opposed to you sleeping in your little bassinet that was beside Mommy. I just needed to hold you close to me like I Had for the past 10 months. At that point, you settled in for a good 3 hours sleep too. I guess you still liked being real close to Mommy too. Those were the best, most peaceful hours of Mommy’s night! Holding you in my arms and watching you sleep was a true dream come true. Ellie, you are so precious to Mommy! I will never be able to be able to express to you how important you are to me and how much I love you. But I will always try!
Daddy was able to catch a few good hours sleep, which was good. He was able to help take care of you the next day, which happened to be your first Thanksgiving Day, because Mommy was still recovering and trying to learn to take care of Mommy.
The next couple days in the hospital were pretty nice. We had lots of visitors and mostly some pretty good nurses. Daddy stayed with us every night. He took good care of both Mommy and Ellie!
I hope that one day you enjoy reading this story about the day that you were born. Obviously your mom isn’t an author, but it sure is fun to write about such important times in life. I want you to have this to look back on one day! I love you with all my heart Baby Girl!
Love,
Mommy

A few photos from the day, added a few years later!

It was a great day!