This evening Ellie and I went out to try to shop for Daddy's birthday present. It involved a trip to a specific store (will not mention right now) and then a follow up to Target.
Ellie is a sweat natured little girl who is usually a lot of fun to take shopping. SHe has been helpful and has enjoyed shopping pretty much since she was born. (I have always known this will eventually be a lot of trouble - but thought that would be as a teenager...) Anyway, Ellie was a bit wild and termpermental tonight. She was tired. I don't think she had as long a nap as she needs at Ms. Sara's today (or any day for that matter. Our little Ellie Bean needs the sleep of a teenager and trying to wake her from a nap in less then 3-4 hours results in what we imagine to be waking up a 13 year old for school at 6am to be like in the future). Anyway, I digress...
The trip was going okay. We were zooming around picking up the weekly essentials - diapers, food, medicine, papers, etc. and of course, taking a look at the new spring clothes in the Ellie section. Ellie had been warned she needed to be a better listener or was going into the shopping cart.
We spotted a few dresses that caught our attention, they were colorful with spots and stripes. Ellie and I are equally drawn to bright colorful clothes for her (not me - though should would like me to wear them too). We picked up a dress she was in love with, I was so so on. I was hoping to find her something else we both loved equally. As we kept shopping Ellie picked up someone's chewed gum as if it was candy. I was annoyed and told her not to pick things up off the floor and yelled at her. (I just think that's gross). I proceeded to take off the gloves she was wearing and put them in the cart to wash when we got home. She started screaming. She has a new found love for these little gloves and would like to wear them all the time (didn't matter we were in the store and she didn't need them). I broke her heart.
I firmly told her to stop screaming and she just went on louder. So, I quickly put the clothes we were looking at back and walked away telling her little girls that throw temper tantrums do not get new clothes. Well, this just made her absolutely lose it like I have never experienced in public before. She started screaming at the top of her lungs "Mommy I WANT THE PRETTY POCKADOT DRESS RIGHT NOW!" over and over again.
People were looking at us. One couple passed and gave Ellie the sympathy look and me the bad mommy look. Everyone always thinks Ellie's so cute and sweat - and usually she is. But I was not giving in to this tantrum. I know better.
We proceeded to pick out birthday cards and collect the cleaning supplies all the while Ellie continued to throw the most royal tantrum I think I have ever seen her throw - definitely for being in public. But, I didn't give in!
Moral of the story - Ellie is going to be a nightmare as a teenager when it comes to clothes if at 3 a single dress can spur this kind of behavior that nothing else cuases!
Oh, Ellie Bean! Cause and effect: it's a hard lesson. But you were quite right, Julie, you couldn't possibly afford to give into that one. That's how you DO avoid things going out of control in the future . All of us have at LEAST one of those extravagantly spectacular confrontational wobblers with our kids around that age. Give in to that and you're dead in the water... I love my granddaughter to distraction as you know, but I'm right behind you on this one. Think you've drawn the wrong moral though - you dared to thwart her - that's why she freaked out. The polkadot dress just became the focus of her frustration (check out the amateur psychology!)Imagine what she'd be like in the future if you had given into the tantrum. You can always let her have a lovely polkadot dress (you both like) as a positive reinforcement when she does something really good in the future.You did well Momma H!
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