Reflections as we move from Old Log Ct.

This evening I finally tackled the corner cabinet in the kitchen that has held baby bottles and pacifiers for 8 years now. I knew I needed to throw them away instead of move them. I’ve thrown loads of stuff away as we moved, old clothes, old toys, art work, knick-knacks, etc. However, throwing away the baby bottles is what made me actually shed a tear. This move is the end of the baby error. We are moving into our big, grown up house with our complete family of 5. I’m so thankful for Ellie, Max and Clair. They are everything.

As we build up to this move, I’ve been completely stressed out because of the inability to plan and control this. The builder is delayed and that has royally messed things ups. That said, I also haven’t been able to control my reaction to this situation; I’ve been a mess. I am sorry to my family for this.

Today I was determined that in the midst of this chaos, I would do something fun with the kids to help remind them (and me) I’m their Mom who loves them and likes playing with them. I think we accomplished this. The kids and I tried out the local trampoline park this morning after a treat at Starbucks. It was a nice time. I jumped with them. Ellie did lots of flipping. Clair and Max bounced around. It was a grand morning.

We briefly returned to packing in the afternoon. During this time I asked Ellie to clean out here art cabinet. She was moving so slow, examining each treasure she found. I kept trying to rush her forward, without much success I will say. I could tell it saddened her. I wanted to be able to give her all the time in the world; and I just don’t feel like I can. We talked about this a little. I asked her if I was mean. She just looked at me. I told her she could be honest. She said, “Sometimes.” I tried to explain why I rush through everything. The reason I gave was because Mommy is always trying to get a lot of stuff done because I’m a Mommy and I have to work. As I said it, I realized how silly and unreasonable it must sound to an 8 year old, and Ellie is a smart and patient 8 year old. I worry about the precedence I’m setting for my kids. I want them to live a life that isn’t as rushed as mine.  I am worried I will never slow down until I have too, and that my kids will reflect and do the same. I pray they choose a more relaxing path. But then again, perhaps the rush could just go away and I could just get less accomplished. I need to find that balance because in all honesty, I need more mornings playing with my kids. I don’t do it enough.

After packing we did visit some friends for an evening of swimming and relaxing. Everyone had a great time and I am so grateful for that opportunity and to be pulled as a family from the work and the crazy that is at home with boxes everyone.

So, back to moving….

I have such mixed emotions about moving. This house has so many memories for me. It is where I brought two of my three children home from the hospital. It is where they all learned to walk. It is where we have had late nights, many Christmases, visits from Granmpa Bob, where Vonita and Stanley and Grandma and Grandpa were able to come to some of their first birthday parties. This house is where they have started school, road their bikes on the same paths that I did, made friends with people I’ve known for 25 plus years, and so many more little things. Not to mention, this house was a home to me as a teenager in the midst of all the crazy I felt. There was a corner in the bathroom that had not only my kids’ heights as they age, but also Robert, Gino and Mikey’s. I am saddened to leave all this behind. Yet, in the midst of it all, I am trying to remember why I started this journey of looking at housing and thinking about moving – allergies, out of the woods, less projects, be near town, my office, David’s space, etc. Right now it all feels crazy. But as we embark on this train that started rolling many months ago, I pray for God to guide me as a Mom and our family. I pray that this choice we are making is the right journey.

Max says he’s excited.

Ellie is excited, but doesn’t want to leave the fish.

Clair doesn’t want a new house, doesn’t want to leave the fish, and no longer wants to sleep in her bed. This is hard for her.

I think it’s hard for everyone, and yet we will press on. To new adventures down the street! I can only imagine if we were moving far away. I’d probably need some medication J

Summer of 2016 Trip: Iceland, Scotland and Ireland

The big trip.... where to start. First, I wish I would've written down more stories. But, since I didn't, I did make a quick list of highlights, low-lights and lessons learned from our 3 week international adventure with our young family - Ellie 8, Max 6, and Clair 3. There's a good chance I won't go back to tell any stories, so here goes the bullet-ed list. (Let my project manager shine!)

Highlights:

• Each and every playground from Iceland and throughout Scotland was a treasure to the kids. Kids traveling can take such little culture and make something of it. Instead, it's doing the everyday fun things with Mommy and Daddy, whilst seeing how they are different in different places that really does make them happy.
• Falkirk Wheel was impressive with it's engineering and the kids enjoyed the activities there such as walking on water, driving water boats, and of course a playground.
• Cilzean Castle followed by dinner in Ayr by the sea was definitely my most memorable day with the kids. David was so excited to take the kids there and made sure they had loads of time to explore caves, rocks, water puddles, and the ocean underneath the castle. It was picture perfect and really adventurous. Ellie and Max enjoyed puddle jumping in their wellies and seeing in the caves. They were so proud of themselves. Clair went with the flow and enjoyed the exploring as well. I enjoyed taking loads of gorgeous photos. Grannie enjoyed showing the kids a special place she used to take Dolan and David. Great fun and highly recommended.
• Kids spending extra time doing the day to day with Grannie in Scotland was special. They each enjoyed an opportunity to bake something at Grannies. Ellie made amazing chocolate chip cookies, Max Spider man cookies, and Clair some delicious fairy cakes. 
• The moderate temperatures for July couldn't have suited our family better. We hate the heat and were glad to be out of the hot and humid Maryland temperatures for July, enjoying 60s and 70s.
• We visited a new country, even for David and me. Seeing Iceland and exploring the city and the country side treasures was truly energizing. The kids didn't blink much about the fact that signs were in another language. The only really challenging thing was that it didn't really get dark, and Clair wanted to be away with the sun was awake.
• My return to Dublin after 12 years was such a great time for me. I loved exploring the city and seeing what's changed and what hasnt. I loved having crepes as my still favorite little crepe shop in the world each morning. I loved familiar shops. I loved touring the city on a bus. I loved backtracking around the city and visiting my old stomping groups. 
• Seeing everyone was fantastic - Grannie, Millar, Dolan, Sarah, David's friends in Glasgow - Dorian and Family, Farah, Helen, Bobby and Aoife
• The looks on the kids faces when they enjoyed something new, or remembered something from a previous visit.
• Reminiscing about David's childhood and family. Giving the kids a chance to know their Scottish heritage.
• Grannie wanting to babysit freely and often. David and I enjoyed a couple nice evenings out. 
• Learning that although visiting is great, I am glad that our family didn't relocate to Glasgow right now. It's not for me. I was happy to come home as well!

Low lights:

• Losing my new iPhone was really depressing. Despite everyone's best efforts, the phone was lost somewhere between Grannie's flat and ours after a long day in Edinburgh. Many photos and videos not backed up were also lost. That is sad.
• The frustrations of travel, along with my germophobic tendencies and the uncharted territories meant that I often lost my cool with the kids stepping out. I regret that. I hope this isn't what they remember about the trips. 
• I didn't sleep well; that was hard.
• Clair didn't sleep well; that was hard and a big part of why I didn't sleep well.

Lessons Learned:

• I need my systems - things have a place, the kids know that things have a place, the kids need my systems to keep me sane. I need my systems to keep me sane. It's hard thinking about the details of the mondane and coming up with a new system for where to put the shoes, dirty clothes, tooth brushes, bags, stuff, etc. every couple days. We didn't move as much on this trip as the one 5 years ago, but it was still too much for kids this age.
• Living in a place with 1 bathroom with this family at this stage is not only painful, but risky at best. There are too many people with weak bladders and undeveloped warning systems!

What did I miss the most?:

• My bed. I love my bed!
• My car. And the silly little back up camera that makes parking so darn easy.
• Country music. There is none, even in Scotland, to be found!
• Iced Coffee. There are too many places that don't have ice there. Really? Really?
• My washer and dryer to keep the clothes clean. Yes, that's a sign of young kids and a old sole. 

Hopefully this list allows my adventurous side to show through even with some of the mature Points of View around Home Sweet Home!