Birthday countdown

For the past two weeks Kelly has reminded us how many days it was until she turned 13 every day. She has been excited looking forward to her birthday. I know she enjoys gifts gifts. This year she’s also very much looking forward to making her own cake. This is the first year I’ve given him and let her do that. I always said birthday cake making with a mom‘s job. But, that’s what she really wants so I’m giving up my privilege of cake baking for her joy.

She’s already made herself in the family fresh homemade cinnamon buns to start the day with. She has plans for things she wants to do throughout the day as well.

This evening when I was putting her to bed she asked me if the birthday tree would be coming out for her. It was 1015 before I had put Clair to bed and had everybody in their bed. I was exhausted and I told Clair I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to get up and put together all the birthday stuff for Eli. She says mommy you have to get up. I said I was really tired. She looks at me and says “mommy if you’d like I can get up and go take care of it so you can sleep.“ She was serious. She was concerned for her tired mommy and she was concerned for her big sister. She’s super sweet.

So I made my way quickly out of her bed and started wrapping presents, decorating, making sure all birthday birthday traditions were in place. I hope that Eli is happy tomorrow.

As I think about the fact that the baby who made me a mama turns 13 tomorrow I have so many mixed emotions. I wanted to be a mom all my life. I was so excited to have early. The years have flown by. I honestly don’t know where they’ve gone if it weren’t for pictures that remind me. I want them to slow down. I want to spend more time with my kids and appreciate your thinking and their joys and their challenges. My work is really intense and I do not get the pleasure of giving them all that they deserve. I will probably never forgive myself for that. I only hope that they know how much I love them and that they do have positive memories of me spending time with them, and me listening to them, and me loving them.

Ellie is an amazing young lady. She has a heart of gold. She is smart. She is very artsy. She’s very athletic. She’s a great big sister. She’s working hard on being organized. She has a heart for God. She has a heart for those that are weaker and need help. I want her to know how special she is. I want her to know all her wonderful talents. I prayer for her tonight as I put her to bed for God to help me and her always see all the wonderful talents he’s placed in her, and I asked God to please help guide me in guiding her to bring out and recognize and use these talents. I want her to have confidence in how wonderful a person she really is.

I love my Ellie Bean!