Kissing Max goodnight

Every night before I get in bed to go to sleep I visit each child to tell them good night. Eli and Max are more easily disturbed in their sleep and clear. I first visit Eli and turn out her lights and turn off her music if it’s on. Then I give her a kiss on her head with my fingers and tell her good night my darling. She usually stays asleep. 

Then I go in the Max‘s room and I try not to make any sound at all because he is so easily moved in his sleep. If he hears anything he will sit up and tell me something. It’s as if he’s awake, but the things he says are comical and usually nonsensical. for example tonight when I went in he opened his eyes straight away looked at me and said it’s up it’s up as he sits up and acts like he’s getting out of bed. I kiss him on the head and tell him good night sweet boy. I suggest that he lay down and go to sleep. I tell him I love him and to lay down again and he lays back down. I walk out of the room and say good night.

I laugh on my way to Clair‘s room. I open the door and I hear her snoring. On the side of her head and tell her good night. She’s sort of sighs as I kiss her,  and stays asleep happily. And then I crawl into my bed, usually quite exhausted. Right now, thanks to all the time I’ve had off work, I’m not exhausted and I’m able to just reflect on the gift of being able to kiss my kids good night each night. They are so peaceful when they’re sleeping.

Starting off 2021

On January 1 we lazed around the house, all day. The boys watched movies. The girls made cake pops. We played a board game or two. It rained and we just stayed inside and didn’t do much of anything productive. 

We decided on January 2, because it was much warmer and sunny, we were going to go outside and go for a hike. The place we hired up to go was so busy we couldn’t even get into the park. So, we rerouted and checked out some of the local battlefield in Frederick County. Clair,  David and myself enjoyed the walks, the time outside, and the adventure. Clair was most excited for an adventure. She had been asking for an adventure for a month. And adventure means a hike where you take food and drink and eat along the way and see cool things. She was really sad when the first park was full and we couldn’t get out. She did make the most of the experiences around me battlefields. She enjoyed the walk by the Monacacy River. She enjoyed being outside. She enjoyed talking to mommy and daddy. She enjoyed trying to climb the tree. Max and Ellie dealt with it. But when we got him expressed how thankful they were to be home again. I do worry this pandemic is making them way too comfortable being home all the time. We really need to work on that.

I’m really glad we got outside. It’s healthy and it’s energizing and it’s just the right thing to do not to be in the house all the time. Watched watched a movie about the science of happiness earlier this week. One of the things it’s clear is that it requires doing energizing and new things. I fear we’re not teaching Ellie this as much as she needs to learn it. We’re working on that. The kids will start ice-skating lesson soon. This is a bit risky for me during this time but I know that they need to be doing some thing. I hope this new adventure helps remind them there’s a big world out there waiting for them to explore. 

Saying goodbye to 2020

Well, we wrapped up 2020 like we spent much of the year, together as a family but isolated from others. I love my family very much and I am grateful for all the time we’ve had together this year and that we will continue to have this time together. I’m grateful for our health. I’m grateful for the kids growth. I’m grateful for a job. I’m grateful for the many blessings we have. 

I have had three weeks off from work and it has been so wonderful and so needed. This year work became really crazy. Reporting in at a higher level and changing bosses three times meant being on call and working much harder than I have over the past few years. I hope to find some level of normalcy in 2021 but I am not sure if I will. I do not like the impact it has on my ability or lack there of to be with the children in the morning before school and to be available to help them during school. That was the best part of being off at the end of the year while they were still in school. I got to listen to them talk to their teachers and talk in group. I was so very impressed when I listen to Max. The way he takes control and volunteers in every situation at school really makes me proud of him.

I enjoyed listening to Claire gift to speeches. The first one was about herself when she was the proud peach. The second one was about our family Christmas traditions that she wanted to share with her class. She did great on both of them and I’m so glad I was able to focus on being there and helping her prepare. These are things I’m not very good at when I am working so hard and barely able to get dinner on the table, keep the laundry at bay, and figure out who needs to be where when.

Last night we had a family celebration. We had appetizers all night long. We chilled out. We played games. We watch the ball drop. We toasted it was sparkling cider. The kids had a little bit of alone time and David and I watched a comedian for a bit. Has everyone got tired towards midnight, there was bickering of course. This is another thing I need to just except as part of being a family and not let it irritate me so much. This would be another goal of mine for 2021.

This new year day was very relaxing. The boys watched movies. Ellie and I watched a new show on Netflix. The girls made cake pops. We play a family game of ticket to ride. We just relaxed and I intend for us to do that for the next two days before returning to the hustle and bustle of this crazy life we are blessed to live in.

Kids, if you ever go back and read the stories that I wrote, I hope you know that I love you. I hope you know that being your mom and raising you is truly everything that I ever look forward to in my life. I know that sometimes the days were long and Mommy sounded grumpy. I am sorry for that. I wish that every day could be sunshine and candies and all that you want. Please know that being a mom means that it’s my job to hold you accountable and prepare you to be the responsible God-fearing God loving adult that he has made you to be. I hope that with every breath I take on this life I am making strides towards that important goal.

Lots of love to you all always and forever!

Happy New Years!