Each year and Eli‘s birthday I reflect on the night before she was born. David and I went out for a nice dinner because I knew it be the last table to go out like that without a babysitter for a long time. It was a nice meal and I enjoyed at the time and ended up regretting after the C-section. The day Ellie was born what is a exciting and terrifying day. I had no idea how that baby was coming out. I knew I was ready to meet her though.
14 years later that baby has turned into an independent, smart, caring, thoughtful, self thinking, artistic, artistic person. She’s still my baby but surely is not a baby anymore.
Over the past 14 years of things that I have cared about and worried about have changed dramatically. The personal adventure of the world has subsided greatly, and the adventure of parenting has taken me on journeys of caring about things like ounces of milk consumed and pumped, number of wet diapers, schools to pick and choose, number of calories to eat a day, bones to have x-rayed, physical therapy to do, how to teach a child to be on time, how to learn how to healthfully feed a vegetarian, How to help a child through without having a friendship she needs (when I myself don’t have them), Coaching sports (instead of playing them), A lot less happy hours with colleagues and a lot more home to cook dinner, learning how to be a better cook, trying to cook things like tofu and beans and lentils, trying to balance a vegetarian who loves cheese and has been who hates cheese, how to plan the perfect family vacation instead of self adventure, had a balance my vacation days for meeting all the children’s needs instead of the most traveling I can do, how many vials of sunblock and how many layers of protective clothing to five people need to spend a week at the beach instead of the right alcohol to bring, are the children reading the right books instead of am I reading write books, trying to teach my children how to enjoy boardgames which I love so much, focusing on their friendships instead of my own (probably a parent failure quite honestly but I’m trying). All of these things represent a huge shift that you go through when you become a parent, and I honestly believe my life would never have been complete without these wonderful changes.
They say the days can be long but the years fly by. I know this is true. It wasn’t that long ago that I remember celebrating the birthdays of the Perrotta boys and thinking they had grown up fast. It’s amazing how much of a blur the parenting years and life as a whole can be.
So, the decorations are up. The signs have been hung, the balloons have been blown up, presents are wrapped and placed under the birthday tree which is standing erect in the family room. The plans for the day have been made. The birthday meal has been ordered. We will celebrate and we will try to make it a wonderful day for Ellie.
I hope as she ages she has fond memories of her childhood. I hope the same for all of my children.
The oven has beeped and I’m off to put the cinnamon buns into the oven so my daughter wakes up to the smell that makes her happy. I’ll probably wake her with the kittens in my arms.
Here’s to a happy 14th my dear darling daughter Ellie!
Love you always and forever!
Mommy
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