When I started writing down these stories Ellie was young and Max was just born. It feels like it was not that long ago, but yet I know it was. Today Ellie is 18, Max is 15.5 and Clair is 12.75. Another year has passed. Stages and phases come and go.
I remember often when they were little thinking that something (anything in particular such as Ellie's need for a nightlight that lasted a long time) would never pass. Then, one day, it's gone. This is parenting in a nutshell; this too shall pass. I pray for this in the little daily battles such as Max keeping things moderately clean or Max and Clair learning to use an agenda and organize themselves. I pray that I am being the parent they need and not failing too bad, because I'm certainly flailing in this journey often.
Last night at the Mom's group at church it was mentioned by one wise mother that she wishes the parent she is today could speak to the parent she was 16 years ago when her first child was born. That statement resonates with me. I wish I could go back and do better; be more patients; teach how to manage emotions; play with them more.
But I sigh and take a breath and know that I am thankful for this journey - regardless of how well I have handled it. The one promise I will make my kids is that each day I do try to do my best AND I know I mess up a lot. Thank goodness for God's Grace.
Know you are always loved and always wanted!
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