Max is Five!

Five feels like a big milestone. Honestly each age comes with my children and I celebrate with them. I make a big deal. I plan a big day. We buy presents. We celebrate them. I pray to God and thank him for their special talents! And I secretly morn the passing of time and childhood. I love the kids so much. I love the innocence of childhood. I even love looking back and how easily they are up and down with emotions. To be young again. To be able to feel better with a kiss. To be able to pretend and make all the bad go away. To be able to make friends by just giggling and making goofy sounds. To be young. To be a kid. It is wonderful. 

Today I took a well needed and earned vacation day. I didn't turn on my phone or computer. I spent the day with my kids, mostly with Max. He and I went to a fancy swim park pool and enjoyed a couple hours of alone time. At lunch at panera he told me we were on a date and should sit side by side instead of across from each other. I love the little romantic in him. I hope he never loses it. 

At the swim park he played with some of the baby slides and he and I swam together. He even convinced me to go down one of the kid slides with him as a race. I felt silly but I said yes. And you know what, I had fun. We did it about four or five times together. Thank you Max for sharing your spirit with me. I had a blast with you today. 

We were going to go to a movie at a theater but he decided we should watch one at home instead because we have better movies according to Max! How can I argue with that. So we bought a cookie cake and headed home to hang out on the couch and watch The Gruffalo. 

We ordered in pizza, opened presents and spent the evening on the tennis courts riding bikes and playing around. It was a great relaxing day. Max is five! He starts kindergarden in a couple months. He's sweet and innocent. He's interested in so much. He likes learning. He loves his sisters. He appreciates animals especially out car lady grey. He loves to snuggle and cuddle. He is a fun little boy to hang out with! 

Love you buddy! Stay yourself always!

Mommy vs employee

I've been working way too many house over the past few weeks and it's showing in the childrens behavior. 

Max is desperate for time, attention, and cuddles. He asks me to do one thing after another when I'm working. 

Clair has literally tried to pull me away from the computer. Last night she told me that I had 1 minute - with her cute rolled up lips - to finish my work and come back to put her to sleep. A mommy fail, I didn't make it back for half an hour and she was asleep. I still feel guilty for letting her down. 

This morning as I went to leave for work she started crying. She never does this. She was holding me and didn't want to let go. I had to bribe her with paint. I feel bad about this, really bad

This morning I told my boss that my two year old tried to come to work with me to tell him I had to stop working during her hours. He didn't seem pleased. I struggle on how to succeed here. I have to keep working and I want to be the best mom I can be and that my kids deserve!

Being a mom

Tomorrow I turn 39. I haven't written a blog in quite a while. I've been feeling very overwhelmed as a person these days. Being a mom is the thing I want to excel at, but I feel like it takes a back seat to work. I'm pretty good at what I do, but that is no help at all when Max tells me at the end of the day, "mommy I haven't gotten enough time with you."  That, breaks my heart and spirit. 

Ellie is my oldest. She is smart, very smart, an avid reader, lover of arts, and pretty darn good at anything she takes on. She's usually quite good to her sister and most of the time her and Max are also friends. 

Max is my middle child in every way. He's kind, gentle, loving, sweet, easy to play with and spend time together, he just loves to have my attention, he's chatty and happy - unless he's not- when he's not he let's you know it. Hes in love with Clair and also really loves spending time with Ellie. But most of all he idolizes his dad. He looks up to him and wants to be just like him. Today he sat and watched David power wash for a good half hour or more. He was in admiration. He wants all the same tools that daddy has and he pays attention to how to use them. He's really clever. 

Clair is my busy bee. She is just two, but she doesn't miss a beat. She knows what's happening at all times and usually knows what's supposed to be happening. She is ready to help and to set things straight at any moment. This morning she noticed David didn't have a shirt on when he got up, and she screamed short and then sat out around the room rummaging in draws to find him one. She brought him two and wondered why he didn't put one on instantly. She likes to be in charge. She has a good hold on me. She summons me into her bed at night quite often. She knows the position I need for the long haul and watches me until I fall asleep. She's adorable and has me wrapped. 

I love my famil and am very thankful. Even though I haven't written for a while life marches on, kids drive me crazy and make me laugh and make me smile and prove to me every day that they love me and I'm not the worst mom in the world; though I have heard that once or twice from Ellie already, unfortunately. 

First Game

Last night Max had his first Tball game at the local Libertytown Park. I was probably more excited then he was. He hung in there but was probably done before it started. 

He enjoys hitting and running the bases. He tolerates standing in the field and trying to throw the ball. But my boy is not at all interested in trying to catch the ball!

I was team mom on the bench organIzing them for hitting. 

Of the below photos perhaps one he will not be fond of me taking years later, but he surely didn't care that I took I yesterday. So cute my little Cummings in his uniform. We made many trips to the restroom. It may be one of the more fun times playing a game for him.

Kissing Max Goodnight

Each night I try to spend a little bit of time with each child tucking them into bed and giving them kisses and hugs good night. Sometimes I have just a few seconds and other times a few minutes. Max likes to take full advantage of this time.

After i give him a hug and kiss reaching up over his loft bed, he often has this cute little ritual he does. First he looks at me, eyeing up my face and smiling his Onry smile, and he giggles and says "okay, let's see." The he puts his little hands on my face and turns my head the way he wants, so that he can apply a very purposeful kiss to some strange part of my face. Parts he has targeted include my eyes, nose, ears, neck, chin, head, etcetera. I can't help but laugh when he does this. It is very sweet. He always ends with a smile and a gentle kiss goodnight in the lips. Then he bounces down into his bed with spotsies fully pleased with himself and content. 

He's so sweet and funny. This little ritual is so Max at this stage in his life. He is living and sweet and loves to get a smile or laugh out of me. I love my boy!

Another busy weekend after a very busy work week

I am just crawling into bed an hour early after a nice long family weekend. This weekend followed one of the craziest busiest work weeks I've had since having children. I worked nearly 60 hours. I don't feel capable of being even a decent mom with those kind of work hours. At different points during the week both Max and Clair showed how they disliked the amount of time I was spending with the computer and on the phone. And, personally, I understand why they feel that way.

I managed to finish my deliverable late Friday night and put the computer away for two days. I even turned off my work cell phone so I was really unreachable. In that time we had some good family time together. Saturday we ran some errands in the morning. In the afternoon I was able to make some progress on the painting project, our deck chairs. In the afternoon my mom visited with me and the kids for a bit. That was nice.

We had a late family dinner and then Saturday evening David and I watched a nice movie together. We were up quite late to finish it. But that was what it took to get just a little time together.

Sunday was a trip to celebrate the end of daisies; Ellie's Girl Scout troop went to the Maryland zoo in Baltimore. I had mixed opinions about taking time to just go do something with the truth and moms. I didn't like separating from David and especially clear and Max for the day.

But we embarked on the adventure and had a nice day. We carpooled with Lisa and Ashley and they didn't mind the shorter day I don't think. I'm attaching a few pictures from the day. Ellie was really a good girl. I am proud of her. I like seeing how she will socialize with different girls and enjoy different experiences. One thing I wish for my daughter is the ability to make friends and go with the flow better than I have been able to in my life. 

Sunday evening we had a family dinner out followed by family grocery shopping trip. After dinner I let each of the kids order a dessert. They asked for the chocolate Oreo pudding dessert treat, so I let Clair have one too. Despite taking away the gummy bears, it was still more chocolate and sugar and Claire has ever had in her life. And she was bouncing off the walls crazy for the next hour after it. It was slightly amusing and scary all the same.

When we got home we let the kids have their bags and some movie time before bed. I actually played on the floor with Claire for about a half hour during that time. I love to talk with her, and see how her mind works. I really love to snuggle and kiss her. I love that she loves spending time with me and holding my hand and kissing me back.

Max is also very snuggly and loves his mommy snuggles. Couple nights over the past week I found Max lying beside me in bed when I woke. It's a sweet sign in sight to see him snuggled up beside me. I wish I had a picture of that. And I hope I can always remember that.

A few photos from the weekend. I have been so busy that I haven't been great about blogs. I would say this is a fairly typical weekend. I love my kiddos!!!