Today we were on our way home from piano when Max and Ellie cheered that we had no plans this evening and would be at home. Clair on the other hand groans and declares she wants to "Go run errands with you Mommy."
I decided there were some things we could do and she cheered loudly. The plan was laid, the relaxing crew will stay home and chill - that's Ellie, David and Max, while Mommy and Clair will take on Walmart to get a birthday gift and some odds and ends. Everyone is pretty much thrilled with the division of labor around here.
We went shopping.
Once in the store Clair quickly went from shopping for a gift for her friend, to eyeing up many toys on the shelf for herself. I tried to keep her focused, but it was hard. We had some sad moments and some threats of losing desert. These were always followed with a deep look in the eyes from Clair, "I'm sorry Mommy." Followed then closely by, "Can I please have the new baby doll Mommy I really want it."
We managed to exit the toy eye and while picking up some essentials - Cheerios, Laundry soap, and cat food, Clair declares with a pout, "It's no fair, you get all this stuff and I can't have one doll."
I asked Clair, "What happens if Lady Grey doesn't have any food."
She looks at me seriously and thinks, then quietly replies (disappointed), " she will get sick?"
I say dramatically, "She will not only get sick, but she will die. What happens in Clair doesn't get a new doll?"
She again thinks, and sullenly responds, "Nothing."
I use this to explain what a priority is to Clair. We have the same discussion about Laundry soap, though no one dies (except perhaps a germaphobe like me).
As we move towards the register she is sullenly moving behind me. I try to pull her out of the way so a couple of ladies can pass us. I apologies and explain she is sulking because she can't have everything she wants and we are learning about priorities today. One of the ladies smiles and tells Clair we all struggle with that all the time and it's a hard lesson to learn.
As we go through the parking lot Clair asks again will we get our snow-cones, hoping i will accept her apologies for not pleasing me. I ask her if she has learned the lesson and remembers what really upset Mommy. She explains I was upset because she was asking for a doll for herself. I was impressed she got that take away and remind her that being a friend means bringing a gift to help someone celebrate their birthday. She says with those big eyes again, "I'm sorry Mommy. . . . (pause) . . . Can we get snow balls now please?"
And of course we go get snowballs.
While we wait for the snowballs I pick her up and hold her so we can watch them be made together. She snuggles her face smushed right up against mine and tells me how much she loves me. She wraps her little hands around my head and squeezes and holds me. She is so lovely. She shows love so openly and freely. I love this girl so much and the way she makes me see the world.
When we sit down to enjoy our snowballs I tell her that I used to come to this same place and get snowballs as a kid. She finds that funny. A few minutes later she asks me "Mommy, who do you love the most - Max, Ellie, Me or Daddy?"
I laughed and told her I loved everyone in my family with my whole heart and I could not pick someone i loved the best. She agrees that is an acceptable answer; I can love everyone the best! I decide to turn the question around on her to see the response, "Max..... Ellie ..... Daddy ..... and You! I love everyone the best in my family too!"
And so it goes as we chat through snow cones, with drips of sweet sugar juice requiring immediate attention in "catching" every so often. We enjoy the sunset and the summertime treat. I enjoy watching her. I marvel at how she is growing up, holding her own cup and not spilling it, smiling, and leading a lovely conversation all the time through. She is such an awesome little person. I can't believe she is my child! I want to call her mine, but she's not mine, she is the worlds! She is Clair Bear!
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