Consequences

Children hate to be giving consequences for their bad behavior. My children hate to be giving consequences for bad behavior. Parents half to give consequences when children don’t follow rules don’t respect their authority. I firmly believe parents hate giving consequences because it is just as hard on the parents as it is on the kid to come up with the fitting punishment and actually hold your child accountable for making bad choices and not following rules.

Tonight, we had one of these nights in her house. The children had rough days. We got back from all the events of the day and the children were outside playing with one another and I kept screaming at each other. They were mad at each other. They were frustrated each other. They were unforgiving of each other. The straw that broke the camels back came when I was sitting around the corner listening to them talk about pushing each other down the stairs and breaking legs. At that point in time I decided it was bedtime. I told them they had 15 minutes to finish their dinner and then they would get baths and go to bed. The tears and drama that ensued were epic. But, I believe it was important for them to realize that they had gone to far and their behavior and treatment of one another.

Parenting today is such a mix of guilt and expectations. I imagine it’s always been like this. I do feel like I have more guilt than my parents did disciplining my children, making them do chores, holding them accountable to cleaning up the rooms, holding them accountable to being responsible as a whole. I will leave that much of today society is really wanting their children be in charge. When you’ve been at work all day it’s hard to come home and hold your children accountable. When you hold your children accountable to say things like I hate you or you hate me or my life is horrible. Imagine those horrible things your children can say to you to make you feel like a bad parent who doesn’t love them, and this is what they say in this moment.

I appreciate it a quick conversation with my mom on text to reminded me that sometimes parents need to make these choices. I know she’s right. And I needed the reinforcement. Thanks Mom!

Ellie, Max, and Clair, I hope one day you will read this and know that you are my world. You have been my world since the day you were born. On days like today when I am frustrated this is simply because I am overwhelmed at the feeling of not providing for you the perfect world I want to provide for you. I hope that when it’s all said and done, you can remember more good, loving, wonderful experiences as a post to bad ones.