I was getting ready to nurse Clair yesterday and Max was sitting beside me.
Max looked at my nipple with the milk on it and very innocently and slightly concerned asked, "mommy, you have a wet penis?"
After listening to that, all I could so was laugh. Max took a moment then capitalized on the fact he made me laugh ( not knowing how as his question was quite genuine ) and repeated his question and laughed!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Musical Max
Max is showing more and More interest in playing music these days. He walks up to the piano and other instruments (drums, guitars) on a regular basis to play. I love watching him play and sing at the same time. He has a repertoire of three songs he does, twinkle twinkle, Bob Bob Black sheep, and ABC's.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Clair's homecoming
Just over 48 hours after she was born, we brought Clair home. Mommy and daddy were both thankful to leave the hospital with our precious baby girl in tow. Baby and mommy were both considered to be doing pretty well. So we had come home early with the expectation mommy and Claire would pretty much rest in mommy's room for the next few days. That's about how it's gone.
Ellie and Max were both happy to have us all at home. They love to come in and visit us. Mommy has been so relaxed since we got home. Claire is learning about life at home, and seems more relaxed here as well too. She hasn't lost anymore weight since we left the hospital which is another great milestone that I haven't been able to achieve with my other children.
The big kids rely on granny for a lot around the house right now. We are thankful to have her here helping take care of everyone. David has also been home all week, and I am very grateful for that. He is taking extra great care of me. I appreciate his support and willingness to deal with my high demands and needs. It's hard because I'm not supposed to do stairs, so I'm upstairs most of the time and she brings me lots of stuff. I'm trying to rest as much as I can. I feel like I'm doing a bit better than I remember feeling with Max. Claire is pretty good sleeper if I just let her sleep beside me. That seems to be what settling into. She is my last baby, and I know that for sure. That is sad, and it makes me want to appreciate the special moments even more. She could end up a bit spoiled because of this!
Ellie and Max were both happy to have us all at home. They love to come in and visit us. Mommy has been so relaxed since we got home. Claire is learning about life at home, and seems more relaxed here as well too. She hasn't lost anymore weight since we left the hospital which is another great milestone that I haven't been able to achieve with my other children.
The big kids rely on granny for a lot around the house right now. We are thankful to have her here helping take care of everyone. David has also been home all week, and I am very grateful for that. He is taking extra great care of me. I appreciate his support and willingness to deal with my high demands and needs. It's hard because I'm not supposed to do stairs, so I'm upstairs most of the time and she brings me lots of stuff. I'm trying to rest as much as I can. I feel like I'm doing a bit better than I remember feeling with Max. Claire is pretty good sleeper if I just let her sleep beside me. That seems to be what settling into. She is my last baby, and I know that for sure. That is sad, and it makes me want to appreciate the special moments even more. She could end up a bit spoiled because of this!
Kate to Clair
The morning after the baby was born, David was holding her and talking to her why got a shower and tried to pull myself together. He said to me, I kept wanting to call her clear instead of Kate. The topic of her name was a frequent one we discussed, because I just wasn't sure that it was perfect yet. Since I was so confused, I suggested that on day two she masquerade as Clair and we decide what suits her best. David agreed.
It was pretty clear by mid afternoon that Clair seem to suit her better than Kate. I was worried about disappointing my sister, and I was worried how the kids would take the name change. We decided to go through the evening and talk to the kids about her name change. Ellie thought it was fantastic. She had wanted her sister to be called Clair pretty much during the whole pregnancy. I think David and Ellie knew something that I didn't, as in the end she is clearly Our Clair Vonita Cummings! Her name suits her.
I often call her my little Claire bear.
It was pretty clear by mid afternoon that Clair seem to suit her better than Kate. I was worried about disappointing my sister, and I was worried how the kids would take the name change. We decided to go through the evening and talk to the kids about her name change. Ellie thought it was fantastic. She had wanted her sister to be called Clair pretty much during the whole pregnancy. I think David and Ellie knew something that I didn't, as in the end she is clearly Our Clair Vonita Cummings! Her name suits her.
I often call her my little Claire bear.
Kate meets Ellie and Max
Yes, You read correctly, I wrote Kate, instead of Clair. On day one she masqueraded as Kate, we thought that was her name. So she was introduced to her siblings as Kate.
They arrived to meet her around 4:30 PM. Both Geamma and Grannie brought the kids to the hospital. Luckily I felt pretty strong by then. I think I look pretty scary to them as they walked into the room. But they want deterred by my books as they were excited to see their baby sister. They slowly approached my bed anxious to looking for the little one. When they spotted her Ellie was instantly amazed. Max went back-and-forth between being worried of the way mommy looked, and the interest of the little one. He needed Grannie to hold him, and be reassured everything was okay.
Ellie was pretty much instantly ready to hold her new baby sister. It was love at first sight. It was actually love at first kick many months ago.
Max took a bit of a while to warm up, but eventually joined the fight for time to hold his baby sister. I have to say the grandmothers did not get much time to hold her on that first day.
The kids had dinner at the hospital with David and Grannie. Gramma stayed with me and Kate. When they returned from dinner, there was another round of holding in a bit more relaxing with mommy in bed from Max's perspective. I tried hard to convince him I would be fine. I think he started to get used to it. He gave me some snuggles. He also gave his baby sister's snuggles.
Watching them to this experience was the best part of my day other than when I just got to hold her for the first time. They are so loving one another. I'm so thankful for my three wonderful children!
They arrived to meet her around 4:30 PM. Both Geamma and Grannie brought the kids to the hospital. Luckily I felt pretty strong by then. I think I look pretty scary to them as they walked into the room. But they want deterred by my books as they were excited to see their baby sister. They slowly approached my bed anxious to looking for the little one. When they spotted her Ellie was instantly amazed. Max went back-and-forth between being worried of the way mommy looked, and the interest of the little one. He needed Grannie to hold him, and be reassured everything was okay.
Ellie was pretty much instantly ready to hold her new baby sister. It was love at first sight. It was actually love at first kick many months ago.
Max took a bit of a while to warm up, but eventually joined the fight for time to hold his baby sister. I have to say the grandmothers did not get much time to hold her on that first day.
The kids had dinner at the hospital with David and Grannie. Gramma stayed with me and Kate. When they returned from dinner, there was another round of holding in a bit more relaxing with mommy in bed from Max's perspective. I tried hard to convince him I would be fine. I think he started to get used to it. He gave me some snuggles. He also gave his baby sister's snuggles.
Watching them to this experience was the best part of my day other than when I just got to hold her for the first time. They are so loving one another. I'm so thankful for my three wonderful children!
Delivery Day: Clair is born
If only I was able to write about the whole last week. As I'm not, I will share some of what I Remember, before I forget more.
Tuesday morning was an early start, we checked in at the hospital at 5:30 AM. Grandma met us there. Straight back to labor and delivery as I was on the list. I was extremely nervous about the birthing process, the anesthesia is scary.
They didn't waste much time getting me and my down and trying to get me machines. It wasn't before long the doctor and for me we would be running late, so the emergency section in front of mine. This made the waiting a little harder, but I understand. I kept reminding the nurse I need to see the anesthesiologist, because I need to discuss my past experience. I was a little annoyed that I only had that opportunity right before we went into the room. There was some dramatic decision made at the time. This was upsetting as I didn't have time to fully think it through and make the right decision. At first the anesthesiologist had me convinced to go without a key pain medicine, and the nurse disagree wouldn't say it in front of him. I thought I had gone without it in the past, but after further discussion I realized I hadn't, and so I wanted to stick with what I've had past. I didn't do well with this last-minute game plan change.
Off to the operating room they rolled me this time. In the past have had to walk. I gave grandma a hug. I gave daddy a hug. I was still trying to calm down. Leaving david outside the operating room was very hard on me. Has begun inside I was very nervous. They were all trying to call me down too.
This is my third time in the operating room. But that doesn't mean it was any easier. Luckily the anesthesiologist was fantastic and talked me through every part of procedure. This time I did not jump. I am grateful to him. After getting the needle, the next scary part occurs, going under the effects. This is extremely scary to me every time! I hate the feeling parts of my body goes numb, but I'm upside down, as I feel like I am breaking.
My doctor was holding my hand calming me down, and reminding me that it was to talk. I would see my baby a few minutes. Apparently the assistant asked David has he entered the OR, "does she had panic attacks often? " I think that was a very fair question considering my behavior. But at least I had warned the doctors and nurses this would happen.
My doctor was right, a few minutes then and there was the sound of crying. My baby girl was born. It felt like a while before we got her, but we did. She was perfect. David held her close to me so I could talk to her and kiss her wonderful face! Eventually, they said she had to leave me for the nursery. This made me sad.
Now it was just a waiting game All the operating room staff put me back together. They did a good job talking to me and keeping me calm during this time. It didn't seem like it was too long before I was off to recovery. I remember thinking everybody and apologizing for how freaked out I was. They all said I did really well, and that had surely seen worse. Who knows.
Off to the recovery room, I laid there, Waiting to have my baby girl delivered to me. It was only maybe 10 or 15 minutes before I finally got her. Getting to hold her finally was amazing. The rest of the day was about recovery and cuddling. Everyone is right, it is worth it in the end. I wish I could've focused on the good and left the nerves, but I wasn't able to. In the end, I now have my baby girl. I love her so much!
We spent two full days in the hospital. Protocol usually calls for three or four days. I was ready to come home and be more comfortable.
The time in the hospital went pretty well. Lots of time to relax. I need to write a separate blog about Max and Ellie getting to meet their new sister with the first time. That was the other great moment of the day.
Tuesday morning was an early start, we checked in at the hospital at 5:30 AM. Grandma met us there. Straight back to labor and delivery as I was on the list. I was extremely nervous about the birthing process, the anesthesia is scary.
They didn't waste much time getting me and my down and trying to get me machines. It wasn't before long the doctor and for me we would be running late, so the emergency section in front of mine. This made the waiting a little harder, but I understand. I kept reminding the nurse I need to see the anesthesiologist, because I need to discuss my past experience. I was a little annoyed that I only had that opportunity right before we went into the room. There was some dramatic decision made at the time. This was upsetting as I didn't have time to fully think it through and make the right decision. At first the anesthesiologist had me convinced to go without a key pain medicine, and the nurse disagree wouldn't say it in front of him. I thought I had gone without it in the past, but after further discussion I realized I hadn't, and so I wanted to stick with what I've had past. I didn't do well with this last-minute game plan change.
Off to the operating room they rolled me this time. In the past have had to walk. I gave grandma a hug. I gave daddy a hug. I was still trying to calm down. Leaving david outside the operating room was very hard on me. Has begun inside I was very nervous. They were all trying to call me down too.
This is my third time in the operating room. But that doesn't mean it was any easier. Luckily the anesthesiologist was fantastic and talked me through every part of procedure. This time I did not jump. I am grateful to him. After getting the needle, the next scary part occurs, going under the effects. This is extremely scary to me every time! I hate the feeling parts of my body goes numb, but I'm upside down, as I feel like I am breaking.
My doctor was holding my hand calming me down, and reminding me that it was to talk. I would see my baby a few minutes. Apparently the assistant asked David has he entered the OR, "does she had panic attacks often? " I think that was a very fair question considering my behavior. But at least I had warned the doctors and nurses this would happen.
My doctor was right, a few minutes then and there was the sound of crying. My baby girl was born. It felt like a while before we got her, but we did. She was perfect. David held her close to me so I could talk to her and kiss her wonderful face! Eventually, they said she had to leave me for the nursery. This made me sad.
Now it was just a waiting game All the operating room staff put me back together. They did a good job talking to me and keeping me calm during this time. It didn't seem like it was too long before I was off to recovery. I remember thinking everybody and apologizing for how freaked out I was. They all said I did really well, and that had surely seen worse. Who knows.
Off to the recovery room, I laid there, Waiting to have my baby girl delivered to me. It was only maybe 10 or 15 minutes before I finally got her. Getting to hold her finally was amazing. The rest of the day was about recovery and cuddling. Everyone is right, it is worth it in the end. I wish I could've focused on the good and left the nerves, but I wasn't able to. In the end, I now have my baby girl. I love her so much!
We spent two full days in the hospital. Protocol usually calls for three or four days. I was ready to come home and be more comfortable.
The time in the hospital went pretty well. Lots of time to relax. I need to write a separate blog about Max and Ellie getting to meet their new sister with the first time. That was the other great moment of the day.
Apples
At lunch today Max decided he wanted to eat his apple "like a ball." He sat there for over half hour finishing this. Ellie's was bigger then her head nearly!
They feel so grown up. It feels like max has doubled in size in the past week!
They feel so grown up. It feels like max has doubled in size in the past week!
Cat like
In the end if this pregnancy I think I'm turning into a cat. I get out of bed only to eat and shower, then crawl back in. The cat is also getting quite used to this
David says as long as I'm showering and not licking myself clean, I'll be okay.
Kids are learning to look for me in bed too. I sure cant wait util I can get back in shape.
David says as long as I'm showering and not licking myself clean, I'll be okay.
Kids are learning to look for me in bed too. I sure cant wait util I can get back in shape.
Max and the new baby
Since bringing the baby home from the hospital Max has had a series of funny questions and things to say. I wish I was better at keeping the blog and the stories up to date right now. But since I'm not, I wanted to write a few of them until single post to try to remember them for myself.
After I was home for about a day Max looked at my belly and said are we going to have to babies mommy? I said no just one. He asked what was with my big belly still. I don't remember exactly how he asked that, but he did. I laughed and told him that was still the leftovers that helped make the baby and mommy had to exercise to make that go away.
This morning he told me he didn't like Clair. A few minutes later he told me I like Kate. I think he still against the name change.
Last night the kids were dancing around their room. I hear Max saying before the floor! I look up and I see him stumbling. I realized he was dizzy and the floor was moving. I smiled and asked, "Max is the floor moving? " Max screams yeah! I said if you sit down the floor will stop spinning. He sits down. "The floor is alright now " says Max. Ellie says, the floor is not moving?
Yesterday afternoon next decided to bring the baby a toy to play with. He brought her one of his little yellow wood cars. We placed it in her cradle with her. He is really sweet to her.
Both kids get really excited with Clair's eyes are open. It's like a treat for the day.
It's so much fun watching Ally and Max enjoyed getting to know their sister. I will try to do as best I can to keep up on the little things that make me smile. I am so thankful to be home with them right now.
After I was home for about a day Max looked at my belly and said are we going to have to babies mommy? I said no just one. He asked what was with my big belly still. I don't remember exactly how he asked that, but he did. I laughed and told him that was still the leftovers that helped make the baby and mommy had to exercise to make that go away.
This morning he told me he didn't like Clair. A few minutes later he told me I like Kate. I think he still against the name change.
Last night the kids were dancing around their room. I hear Max saying before the floor! I look up and I see him stumbling. I realized he was dizzy and the floor was moving. I smiled and asked, "Max is the floor moving? " Max screams yeah! I said if you sit down the floor will stop spinning. He sits down. "The floor is alright now " says Max. Ellie says, the floor is not moving?
Yesterday afternoon next decided to bring the baby a toy to play with. He brought her one of his little yellow wood cars. We placed it in her cradle with her. He is really sweet to her.
Both kids get really excited with Clair's eyes are open. It's like a treat for the day.
It's so much fun watching Ally and Max enjoyed getting to know their sister. I will try to do as best I can to keep up on the little things that make me smile. I am so thankful to be home with them right now.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Day before baby sister arrives
I wanted to do something big and special with the kids today, but considering my physical shape and lack of stamina, options were limited. I think we are still managing to do a decent job of spending a nice day together.
This morning after breakfast and a little mommy nap, we headed to Frederick to get the kids spring and summer shoes for the kids. Ellie thinks buying shoes is a great treat. Max just likes getting out and about. The shopping was successful. Ellie got away with three pairs of shoes; and she thought she needed about two more. She's such a girlie girl? Max got a new pair of tennis shows, officially retiring nearly a year full of hand me downs. He was pleased.
After the shipping we headed to Starbucks for morning snacks, another treat for all.
Then we wrapped up the morning with some time at the park. Kids love the park near us and we don't go in the winter when it's cold. So this was a bit of a seasons opener for them. Their new shows served them well and they had fun!
It's nap time now, but they are not doing. Good job of Going to sleep.
This morning after breakfast and a little mommy nap, we headed to Frederick to get the kids spring and summer shoes for the kids. Ellie thinks buying shoes is a great treat. Max just likes getting out and about. The shopping was successful. Ellie got away with three pairs of shoes; and she thought she needed about two more. She's such a girlie girl? Max got a new pair of tennis shows, officially retiring nearly a year full of hand me downs. He was pleased.
After the shipping we headed to Starbucks for morning snacks, another treat for all.
Then we wrapped up the morning with some time at the park. Kids love the park near us and we don't go in the winter when it's cold. So this was a bit of a seasons opener for them. Their new shows served them well and they had fun!
It's nap time now, but they are not doing. Good job of Going to sleep.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The Big Day is coming
On Saturday and Sunday mornings the kids often crawl into bed with us. Today as they were between laughing and screaming at each other, and I was stressed out, I reminded myself and David this would be our last family snuggle in bed as a family of four. I love our kids so much. And I'm a little worried about what expanding the family will do to all the family dynamics. I know in the end I will not be able to imagine life without our new little girl. And along the way I'm trying not to worry too much. But sometimes it is hard.
Having a new baby is always an opportunity to evaluate how I feel I'm doing as a parent. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay, but most the time I worry I'm missing out on something. These days I wonder have I been too rigid on the kids? I like things always a particular way. I have them on schedules, And they do not do well when they deviate from them. I'm a bit of a germ a phobe, and the kids have tight hand washing and shoe rules. I'm passing all these things onto the children, and worry I'm passing on the right things. Our children have many great qualities, they're good listeners, they are usually kindhearted, they're fairly good at playing with others, they're a little bit shy. Max has a great sense of humor. Ellie has great dancing and art skills. I pray the good outweighs the bad in the way that I'm parenting. Ellie's eyes are opening to the world. For 5 1/2 years I've been able to shield her from much of the world and give her the information I wanted to have. In less than four months she's off to public elementary school. The world will definitely change. I hope that she is ready. And I worry about that transition an awful lot.
Keeping them in a bubble is not the answer, I know. But sometimes it feels like it would be the easiest thing in the world. Although I am a city person at heart, once in a while I see the allure of a cabin in the woods on the self-sufficient farm just for our family. I know in the end that would drive me crazy and probably our kids too. But it's still something of a fantasy to think about once in a while.
It's time to finish packing the hospital bag. David gave me the morning to rest up as he is taking the kids to church. Thanks honey!
Having a new baby is always an opportunity to evaluate how I feel I'm doing as a parent. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay, but most the time I worry I'm missing out on something. These days I wonder have I been too rigid on the kids? I like things always a particular way. I have them on schedules, And they do not do well when they deviate from them. I'm a bit of a germ a phobe, and the kids have tight hand washing and shoe rules. I'm passing all these things onto the children, and worry I'm passing on the right things. Our children have many great qualities, they're good listeners, they are usually kindhearted, they're fairly good at playing with others, they're a little bit shy. Max has a great sense of humor. Ellie has great dancing and art skills. I pray the good outweighs the bad in the way that I'm parenting. Ellie's eyes are opening to the world. For 5 1/2 years I've been able to shield her from much of the world and give her the information I wanted to have. In less than four months she's off to public elementary school. The world will definitely change. I hope that she is ready. And I worry about that transition an awful lot.
Keeping them in a bubble is not the answer, I know. But sometimes it feels like it would be the easiest thing in the world. Although I am a city person at heart, once in a while I see the allure of a cabin in the woods on the self-sufficient farm just for our family. I know in the end that would drive me crazy and probably our kids too. But it's still something of a fantasy to think about once in a while.
It's time to finish packing the hospital bag. David gave me the morning to rest up as he is taking the kids to church. Thanks honey!
Daddy's boy
Max is such a daddy's boy. Today we all ventured to dance. Usually I do this Alone with the kids, but today David is coming so he could get his haircut. Max was so excited to have daddy he wanted him to hold him the whole time, he didn't even want to give Katie her weekly snuggles. After Starbucks treats, backs is very anxious to take daddy to get his haircut.
When we eventually want to dance I peaked my head in the shop to see if they were getting a haircut yet. I was so taken by what I saw. There said David in the chair, Max standing beside him holding his hand. It was so cute!
Even after the haircut next didn't really want to separate much from daddy. He loves his daddy so much.
When we eventually want to dance I peaked my head in the shop to see if they were getting a haircut yet. I was so taken by what I saw. There said David in the chair, Max standing beside him holding his hand. It was so cute!
Even after the haircut next didn't really want to separate much from daddy. He loves his daddy so much.
Granddaddy turns 60
Last night we had a party for dad's 60th birthday. Most of the grandkids were there, and as normal they were loud and having fun.
Dad had a really great time. About 50 or so people showed up to celebrate him turning 60. I think he was really taken back by how many people thought that much of him to show up. And I think that was wonderful! So glad he had a nice time and everybody else did too.
At the end of the party when I was taking Ellie to the bathroom before we came home, she asked "where are the goody bags? " I laughed and told her adult parties don't use a giveaway hit Goodie bags.
As she was going to sleep later in the evening she said to me, "mommy I had a lot more fun than I thought I was going to have tonight. " She's a silly girl and I'm glad she had a good time. Back had a good time to he was just exhausted at the end of the night.
Dad had a really great time. About 50 or so people showed up to celebrate him turning 60. I think he was really taken back by how many people thought that much of him to show up. And I think that was wonderful! So glad he had a nice time and everybody else did too.
At the end of the party when I was taking Ellie to the bathroom before we came home, she asked "where are the goody bags? " I laughed and told her adult parties don't use a giveaway hit Goodie bags.
As she was going to sleep later in the evening she said to me, "mommy I had a lot more fun than I thought I was going to have tonight. " She's a silly girl and I'm glad she had a good time. Back had a good time to he was just exhausted at the end of the night.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Trying to potty train
I've been dabbling with potty training Max for nearly six months. We have successfully gotten him to request the potty instead of popping his diaper, but pee hasn't been so easy. I just don't think he minds being wet.
We tried again the past 24 hours. He doesn't tell us anything until after he goes.
I think we need to wait a while.
So as much as I was hoping to only have one in diapers at a time, come Tuesday I will have two in diapers. Oh well. It could be worse.
We tried again the past 24 hours. He doesn't tell us anything until after he goes.
I think we need to wait a while.
So as much as I was hoping to only have one in diapers at a time, come Tuesday I will have two in diapers. Oh well. It could be worse.
Happy to have Grannie in town
Grannie arrived Sunday late and the kids are thrilled to have her in town. They are in their glory getting spoiled with new toys, constant activities and catering of ways they only get from Grannie. They stayed home most of the week, only going to Sarah's one day. Lots of playing, coloring, building, learning and walks outside each day. They are really enjoying it.
I came home from work one day and Ellie announced they had built the world downstairs. I was curious what this meant, but too tired to go down to see it. So I have Ellie my iPhone as told her how to take a picture. She went right down and captured about six to eight really clear pictures of the world they had built! Apparently it's easier to get a good still photo with the iPhone then her camera. I was impressed.
I came home from work one day and Ellie announced they had built the world downstairs. I was curious what this meant, but too tired to go down to see it. So I have Ellie my iPhone as told her how to take a picture. She went right down and captured about six to eight really clear pictures of the world they had built! Apparently it's easier to get a good still photo with the iPhone then her camera. I was impressed.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Wiggle worm
I was just awoken from my weekend afternoon nap because my little wiggle worm is wiggling so much that she made me have a strange dream she was trying to wiggle out through my C-section scar. Funny somewhat and disturbing as well. This little one has her quite time, but when she gets rolling she is the most wiggly of my three for sure! I suspect she's going to be my mover.
Only 9 more days until I meet her. I'm glad because each day gets harder to get around and to sleep. Ellie and Max are being so patient with there lazy mommy. It's a good thing their Daddy is so good with them. He has taken them out to play each day this weekend. Mommy play is recently limited to a lot of stories, books or coloring. I'm looking forward to recovery and the summer off with my kids!
Only 9 more days until I meet her. I'm glad because each day gets harder to get around and to sleep. Ellie and Max are being so patient with there lazy mommy. It's a good thing their Daddy is so good with them. He has taken them out to play each day this weekend. Mommy play is recently limited to a lot of stories, books or coloring. I'm looking forward to recovery and the summer off with my kids!
Friday, April 12, 2013
College
Ellie came down from nap today with her Tinkerbell backpack stuffed full. I asked her where she was off to. After she rattled off all the things that were inside the bag she tells me she's off to college. Wow! I asked if she was going to VT, she said no, I'm going to a college where you can be a Mommy.
After yesterday's conversation that made me smile. I think that was what she was looking to do, because she gave me that special Ellie I love you smile back at me. She's my Ellie Bean!
She proceeded to sit at the table and practice her letters and writing for the next half hour!
Later in the evening I asked what made her want to go off to college today, she didn't know. But she sure had some questions for me. She had packed a picture of me so that she could look at me everyday - isn't that sweet. She wanted to know if she could bring Pink Blanket I said of course. I also told her we could talk on Facetime every day and that I would come visit her. That seemed to help. She had tears in her eyes as she was asking these questions.
What makes her think of these things I wonder?
After yesterday's conversation that made me smile. I think that was what she was looking to do, because she gave me that special Ellie I love you smile back at me. She's my Ellie Bean!
She proceeded to sit at the table and practice her letters and writing for the next half hour!
Later in the evening I asked what made her want to go off to college today, she didn't know. But she sure had some questions for me. She had packed a picture of me so that she could look at me everyday - isn't that sweet. She wanted to know if she could bring Pink Blanket I said of course. I also told her we could talk on Facetime every day and that I would come visit her. That seemed to help. She had tears in her eyes as she was asking these questions.
What makes her think of these things I wonder?
Max gets Stomach Bug
The past 24 hours have been rough. Max started throwing up last night and hasn't felt well all day. Poor little guy was so taken back by the whole thing , as a kid is when they do this for the first time.
This morning when I was sitting with him rubbing his back he looks at me and so carefully says, "I need to go to the doctors Mommy." Poor little guy. I tried to explain to him that this happens sometimes and it's not something the doctors can help with; we just have to get through it. I think he was puzzled because we go to the doctors for everything.
As the day has progressed, I am hoping he has kicked it. I hope he sleeps well and wakes up fully recovered. I also hope that no one else catches this - selfishly, especially me. I can't imagine the stomach bug at 37 weeks pregnant where it hurts to cough, laugh and sneeze. I did a lot of lysoling today. Thankfully David stayed home to take care of Max too. He's also done all the sick laundry and trying to help protect us. Keeping prayers and fingers crossed!
This morning when I was sitting with him rubbing his back he looks at me and so carefully says, "I need to go to the doctors Mommy." Poor little guy. I tried to explain to him that this happens sometimes and it's not something the doctors can help with; we just have to get through it. I think he was puzzled because we go to the doctors for everything.
As the day has progressed, I am hoping he has kicked it. I hope he sleeps well and wakes up fully recovered. I also hope that no one else catches this - selfishly, especially me. I can't imagine the stomach bug at 37 weeks pregnant where it hurts to cough, laugh and sneeze. I did a lot of lysoling today. Thankfully David stayed home to take care of Max too. He's also done all the sick laundry and trying to help protect us. Keeping prayers and fingers crossed!
I don't want to be a Mommy
Thursday morning when we were getting dressed for the day and I was doing Ellie's hair, she told me very matter of fact that she doesn't want to be a Mommy when she grows up. She will be a ballerina instead. I told her she could be both. Her response, "No, I just don't want to be a Mommy."
These words cut hard. I told her I was sad to hear this. I explained that being a Mommy was the best thing in the world and that even when your kids are upset or giving you a hard time, it's still the best thing in the world becuase I love them so much. I also added I wanted to be a Grandma one day. She takes a step back and looks at me, she thinks for a minute and says, "Well, I guess I will think about it some more."
She cracks me up. But the sad thing is that my fear about this pregnancy has come true. It's been so visibly hard on me that Ellie thinks it's not worth it and that I don't like being a Mommy. That is really sad. I hope to change her impression before I go back to work in the fall.
These words cut hard. I told her I was sad to hear this. I explained that being a Mommy was the best thing in the world and that even when your kids are upset or giving you a hard time, it's still the best thing in the world becuase I love them so much. I also added I wanted to be a Grandma one day. She takes a step back and looks at me, she thinks for a minute and says, "Well, I guess I will think about it some more."
She cracks me up. But the sad thing is that my fear about this pregnancy has come true. It's been so visibly hard on me that Ellie thinks it's not worth it and that I don't like being a Mommy. That is really sad. I hope to change her impression before I go back to work in the fall.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Surgery
Tonight at dinner for some reason Ellie and Max started joking about surgery. Max got serious right away and started talking about his ear tube surgery. He told us he fell asleep on Daddy and then woke up scared. It was sad. I hated that he had to wake up without one of us there. I reminded him that we came to him quickly. He looked at me seriously and said yes. Then he said, "We came to my house." He definitely remembers it all pretty clearly. It's funny that it's the first time he's talked about it nearly a month later.
To change the subject I told him Mommy would have surgery in a couple weeks to have his baby sister. I asked who he thought would hold my hand. His response, "I will Mommy." Isn't that just the sweetest thing in the world! He was so serious too. He takes my hand to try to help me often.
I told him that Daddy would hold my hand, and he seemed okay with that. Both of them needed to know I'd be okay and they'd see me later. Ellie remembers this went okay when Max was born, so she's not worried.
They are so cute. It's so fun to have these little conversations with them and try to understand what is going through their heads.
To change the subject I told him Mommy would have surgery in a couple weeks to have his baby sister. I asked who he thought would hold my hand. His response, "I will Mommy." Isn't that just the sweetest thing in the world! He was so serious too. He takes my hand to try to help me often.
I told him that Daddy would hold my hand, and he seemed okay with that. Both of them needed to know I'd be okay and they'd see me later. Ellie remembers this went okay when Max was born, so she's not worried.
They are so cute. It's so fun to have these little conversations with them and try to understand what is going through their heads.
Mommy Play with me
A couple times a day Max asks me to play with him. It's so cute hearing those words. I try my best to comply when asked. I know there will be only a few years where I'm his first choice playmate. I love that I am. I worry when the baby comes that our relationship will change. I hope that we can always be close. I love playing with my Max!
Ellie's teeth
Ellie is fascinated with losing her teeth. She's been trying to wiggle them free for over a month. I think Sarah told her she may lose them soon, so she has all this hope. When we went to the dentist, he said it should be a while, and advised her not to wiggle them. She is having such a hard time listening to that.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Taking care of mommy
Tonight after dinner I was sitting on the couch. Ellie comes over and hands me one of her prized drawings and says, " mommy this is for you because you are having such a hard time being pregnant with my sister. "
Then, she continues, " I'm going to do a dance for you too. " so I got to sit on the couch and enjoy her performing or a good ten minutes. Her dancing is coming along.
It was so sweet of her.
Then, she continues, " I'm going to do a dance for you too. " so I got to sit on the couch and enjoy her performing or a good ten minutes. Her dancing is coming along.
It was so sweet of her.
Ellie and her sister
Ellie has been patiently awaiting the arrival of her baby sister for nearly 9 months now. From the day she knew I was pregnant she wanted it to be a sister. And she was so excited when she found out her dream was coming true.
At this last stage of pregnancy one of the best parts of my day is if Ellie crawls up beside me and tries to talk to or feel her baby sister moving around inside me. Belly giggles with delight when her sister moves around and she can feel it. I love watching the smile that comes across Ellie's face as this happens. Unfortunately, we still haven't gotten a video of this precious moment. But I hope that I can always remember the joy that she experienced waiting for her sister to come into this world.
My hope for Ellie and her sisters that they are close. I know they will be nearly 6 years apart in age, and there will be hard times in the teenage years. But I hope that the relationship is everything in Portelli could've ever imagined it to be for both of them!
At this last stage of pregnancy one of the best parts of my day is if Ellie crawls up beside me and tries to talk to or feel her baby sister moving around inside me. Belly giggles with delight when her sister moves around and she can feel it. I love watching the smile that comes across Ellie's face as this happens. Unfortunately, we still haven't gotten a video of this precious moment. But I hope that I can always remember the joy that she experienced waiting for her sister to come into this world.
My hope for Ellie and her sisters that they are close. I know they will be nearly 6 years apart in age, and there will be hard times in the teenage years. But I hope that the relationship is everything in Portelli could've ever imagined it to be for both of them!
My Max
Max is been my buddy lately. It wasn't like that prior. For a while he was very much daddy's boy. I think it was during the time when he had his tubes out and he was having trouble with the talking that he and I got very close. And he is my buddy now, and I love it.
I'm pretty frustrated being two weeks from my due date and so tired. I feel like I really can't do anything. And the best part of the day is one of my little buddy tries to make me smile. We were just outside enjoying the evening, and I had asked him for a hug. He likes to tease me, so he said no. About five minutes later he comes back to me he says, mommy what's wrong? I told him I just don't feel good. He goes, mommy, I give you a hug. And he runs up to me and gives me the best hug. Then he says, and kiss! He knows how to make his mommy smile.
I'm pretty frustrated being two weeks from my due date and so tired. I feel like I really can't do anything. And the best part of the day is one of my little buddy tries to make me smile. We were just outside enjoying the evening, and I had asked him for a hug. He likes to tease me, so he said no. About five minutes later he comes back to me he says, mommy what's wrong? I told him I just don't feel good. He goes, mommy, I give you a hug. And he runs up to me and gives me the best hug. Then he says, and kiss! He knows how to make his mommy smile.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Carry me upside down daddy
Max has a new found fascination with having daddy carry him places upside down. It started a couple weeks ago. Now if we want anything from him, this is his requirement. And, usually David obliges this crazy idea.
17 days and counting
The final days of my final pregnancy are painful. And at the same time, I'm trying to relish them because I know this will be the last time. It's fun to feel the baby moving around in my tummy like she's a little alien. This one is sure the acrobatics of the three. My tummy is so big, people look at me and say wow you really gotten big recently .
Doctors think I look huge too. But one of them said, you've never had a small baby so I'm not expecting one this time around either.
Pregnancy is an amazing mystery. THe idea that I can grow a baby is pretty cool. And I will always wish I could have had at least one more, another little boy to make my family. But at 37, I can't face it again. So, having to continue working full-time, I don't think I could be a good mom to anymore anyway.
So in 17 days, our family will meet the youngest child. And we will be a complete family. And I'm really looking forward to it. It's been a long journey, and it will be so quick too!
Doctors think I look huge too. But one of them said, you've never had a small baby so I'm not expecting one this time around either.
Pregnancy is an amazing mystery. THe idea that I can grow a baby is pretty cool. And I will always wish I could have had at least one more, another little boy to make my family. But at 37, I can't face it again. So, having to continue working full-time, I don't think I could be a good mom to anymore anyway.
So in 17 days, our family will meet the youngest child. And we will be a complete family. And I'm really looking forward to it. It's been a long journey, and it will be so quick too!
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