Changes

Raising children is full of changes. But so far I don't think that any phase has more changes in such a quick period of time than infancy does. Five months and one week ago I was still pregnant with Clair. Today she is no longer nursing, eating vegetables fruit and cereal, and nearly able to sit up on her own. She smiles and laughs, she rolls, she kicks with excitement and loves to be around people especially her siblings. She is a little person inside and showing us daily what she's about. 

And while I love getting to know her, and watching her grow happy and healthy, I am sad to see each phase go past. This is most severe with Clair compared to Ellie and Max because I know she is my last child. As each thing comes to an end, I am fortunately have a bit of morning that I do. I'm not sure how I'll let that go.

Now that I have started back work, but milk is drying up, and pumping is becoming harder and harder. I think it may be time to give it up. Clair hasn't nursed in about a week or two, I can't remember exactly when. But nursing is no longer okay by her because the milk just doesn't come fast enough. For five months I gave it my best effort. I doubt I will make it through the next workweek and keep this up. It's a shame, hopefully she got a good start.

Someone jokingly told me today that I should look forward to the end the celebration of the pump burning. Make me smile a little bit.

Kisses

It was my first week back at work and I was away from Claire a lot. I relationship is very different this week, and I could tell she didn't understand why I was leaving her somewhere. Several days when I picked her up I did not get smiles or much affection until after her evening that. But when I came home on Thursday and picked her up out of Hursey she put her face on mine and started sucking like she was giving me a kiss!!! This went on for at least a minute or two. She was clearly very excited to see me. It was so sweet. I love that girl so much.

Strong girl

Clair is five months old today. I think she's really strong. She's starting to sit up with just a little help already. Over the weekend we even got the jumper out. She seems to really appreciate these big girl toys. Laying around on a mat is a thing of the past for this little lady. 

Baby Colin

Max has taken to treating baby Colin like his real baby. He carries him around and put him to bed, and give him kisses, and talk cement and sing some songs. It is too cute. 

He is pretty distraught when he forgets baby Colin downstairs and it's time to go to sleep upstairs. He puts the cradle right by his head and tucks baby in. Just like my cradle for Clair is right by my head.

He loves babies. If he wants his little sister. Here he is sitting in the stroller at the store holding his baby sister. She's just chilled out by it all. 

Back to work

On Monday I start back in the office after five months off with Claire and Max and Ellie. Nonetheless are looking forward to my return. Last night as I was putting Ellie to bed she crawled into my arms was all sad I said what's wrong, she responde with I don't want you to go back to work.

I have no idea how I'm going to make time for 50 hours a week of work. I will feel I am neglecting the most important things in my life more than I already feellike. I am  so sad. This modern-day society of work work work work work just doesn't feel right with young children. I want my children. I just don't want the sacrifices I have to make. by sacrifices I mean either choosing to be away from them for most of the time or living in poverty. Having money to give them the very best seems to be winning out. I hope that's the right choice in the end.

On Friday I had all three children in the morning and we tried to hang out at the park and have a little fun. It was a beautiful fall day. This was a self-portrait of the four of us.

Four month checkup - easy peesey

Today Clair had her four month checkup with Dr Clarence. 

She is perfect! And that's not just a mothers perception. Dr agreed!

She's 95% in height for her age and 84% in weight! She's growing well an dr thinks she's meant to be a big girl!

Funny part was when the nurse gave her the shot, I kept waiting for the tears, but instead Clair just stared her down, nearly with a smile! Max was signing twinkle twinkle to her to help her not be scared - it must have worked!!!

He's such a great big brother and loves her so much!

Maternity leave

As maternity leave comes to an end, I want to recap my accomplishments for my own sanity. It's been a great five months!

Clair born! Family complete!

Nursing - four months and counting

Healthy, strong ad happy baby

Clair sleeps in her bed and naps pretty well at four months

Max potty trained

Max started Sunday school

Starting to be able to play with max again and keep up with him

Ellie was a flower girl

Ellie in kindergarten and happy with it

Many picnics, park time and times with cousins

Library and story time

Beach trip for family

Driveway done

PT for knees

Started exercise routine

Lots of cooking and improvements on healthy eating

Kids eat same dinners ( mostly )

Started making baby food at home

Created photo albums throw June

Kept blog up

I'm sure there rid more, but this is pretty good. I'm also returning to work two weeks earlier then planned! My challenge to myself is to be forgiving and realize there's no way I will be able to keep up with things. Good luck to me!

Weed

Clair is growing like a weed these days. She now weighs approximately 16 pounds. I tried a few photos yesterday and here is what I saw. First, she constantly has her fingers in her mouth right now. Second, she wants to sit up and look  around so that she is usually trying to set herself up. Three, she's a highly little girl who enjoys smiling for her mommy. She's a Mommys girl. 

Clair is starting to show a realization of strangers holding her. She has this very sad cry when she realizes that mommy has given her over to someone new. This happened twice recently - just in time for my return to work. 

Photo shoot:

Tired kindergarten girl

This is Ellie's sixth day of school. She's adjusting well and doing well in class. When this girl gets home she is exhausted.

Today we had a picnic on the porch when she got home. She's a cutie even when tired. 

Apple picking at the orchard

Today I decided to take the kids apple picking. Gramma came with us. For some reason this seem like a great idea this year despite having a four-month-old. All in all it went extremely well. This is thankfully due to my mom being there to help. Without her, I don't think it would've gone so smoothly.

Picking apples is very easy. Max and Ellie were both very helpful. Clair chatted away to gramma as she picked some apples. Everyone was very pleasant. The big kids even enjoyed playing on the little playground. The highlight for Max was definitely the tractors, both the ride to and from the field and getting to play on the one at the playground.

It was a good end to maternity leave activity. Now we have about 30 pounds of apples. Katie asks what will we do with them. My answer, feed them to David. He can eat as many apples as he wants for the next few weeks.

Cereal

Ive Started trying to feed Clair a few solids. Some feedings go better than others. Sometimes I don't think much gets inside. But she seems to enjoy it. Here is what she look like after having a little bit of apples and cereal for lunch today.

Chip off the block

After dinner next had a little Apple for his fruit. He ate all around the outside and then says mommy I'm done. I looked at his Apple where he had taken a bite all around the outside and said there's more to eat Max keep eating. Meanwhile I went on playing with the baby and talking to him but not really paying attention to what he was doing.

After five minutes pass he sets his Apple on the table and says I'm all done mommy. I look down and see the butt of an apple.  I asked him what happened to the rest of it he says "I ate it. " I guess he is watched his daddy eat apples one too many times. I looked at David and I said look what your son left and how he eat the apple. David's response, "that's my boy."

Sweet Ellie Bean

Ellie really doesn't like to take naps anymore. It is understandable now that she is in kindergarten. But sometimes I am so tired but I need my. So, unfortunately instead of using naptime today while she was home from school to do something together, mommy needed a nap. 

I asked Ellie what she would do instead of a nap and she said she would find something quiet to do like read or color. So I reminded her of the rules when I am sleeping, kissed her on her head, and told her good night and went up to my bed to lie down. I rested for a good two hours. When I came downstairs Ellie jumps up and says surprise! She probably points to the red bench which displays at least 10 picture she has drawn for me while I slept. She is so sweet!  Her drawing has improved so much recently. I think these are pretty good for a five-year-old.

Not only was she quiet to allow all the rest of us to sleep, but while this was happening she was thinking of me and drawing me a book of pretty pictures. I'm a lucky mom!!!

High energy

Of the benefits of maternity leave has been the extra time with all three children not just Clair.  I must admit, Max is the one that wears me out. He requires high-energy to entertain.

The boy likes to be busy constantly likes a companion in doing so. Since Ellie has started school, my mornings and days with Max have presented me more challenges than I would have expected. I'm really not proud of this fact, but I accepted as reality. Next is a high-energy boy. And I'm sad to say I don't have the high-energy that I once had for little boys. This is one of the downsides of having children in your 30s. 

Max is such a boy's boy. He enjoys diggers, building, chasing, being loud, and just being busy. But he has a sweet and gentle beside two. He loves his little sister so very much. And he is quite musical as well. He's a ball of emotions as well. He is my sweet boy, and I will miss this time. He will start going to daycare full-time next week probably as I return to work part time. I knew my relationship with him would change the most when Clair was born. I hope we find a way back to each other, As I don't feel I have been the best mom to him over the past year.

 I love him dearly and I am proud of all the things he has learned since I've been on leave. He is learning to count, he is learning letters, and the biggest milestone is that we are giving up diapers. He is more independent, and he is able to express himself so well with words. He has definitely gone from being a toddle to being a little boy. 

Another entry in the journal of Time sure flies.