Changes

Raising children is full of changes. But so far I don't think that any phase has more changes in such a quick period of time than infancy does. Five months and one week ago I was still pregnant with Clair. Today she is no longer nursing, eating vegetables fruit and cereal, and nearly able to sit up on her own. She smiles and laughs, she rolls, she kicks with excitement and loves to be around people especially her siblings. She is a little person inside and showing us daily what she's about. 

And while I love getting to know her, and watching her grow happy and healthy, I am sad to see each phase go past. This is most severe with Clair compared to Ellie and Max because I know she is my last child. As each thing comes to an end, I am fortunately have a bit of morning that I do. I'm not sure how I'll let that go.

Now that I have started back work, but milk is drying up, and pumping is becoming harder and harder. I think it may be time to give it up. Clair hasn't nursed in about a week or two, I can't remember exactly when. But nursing is no longer okay by her because the milk just doesn't come fast enough. For five months I gave it my best effort. I doubt I will make it through the next workweek and keep this up. It's a shame, hopefully she got a good start.

Someone jokingly told me today that I should look forward to the end the celebration of the pump burning. Make me smile a little bit.

Kisses

It was my first week back at work and I was away from Claire a lot. I relationship is very different this week, and I could tell she didn't understand why I was leaving her somewhere. Several days when I picked her up I did not get smiles or much affection until after her evening that. But when I came home on Thursday and picked her up out of Hursey she put her face on mine and started sucking like she was giving me a kiss!!! This went on for at least a minute or two. She was clearly very excited to see me. It was so sweet. I love that girl so much.

Strong girl

Clair is five months old today. I think she's really strong. She's starting to sit up with just a little help already. Over the weekend we even got the jumper out. She seems to really appreciate these big girl toys. Laying around on a mat is a thing of the past for this little lady. 

Baby Colin

Max has taken to treating baby Colin like his real baby. He carries him around and put him to bed, and give him kisses, and talk cement and sing some songs. It is too cute. 

He is pretty distraught when he forgets baby Colin downstairs and it's time to go to sleep upstairs. He puts the cradle right by his head and tucks baby in. Just like my cradle for Clair is right by my head.

He loves babies. If he wants his little sister. Here he is sitting in the stroller at the store holding his baby sister. She's just chilled out by it all. 

Back to work

On Monday I start back in the office after five months off with Claire and Max and Ellie. Nonetheless are looking forward to my return. Last night as I was putting Ellie to bed she crawled into my arms was all sad I said what's wrong, she responde with I don't want you to go back to work.

I have no idea how I'm going to make time for 50 hours a week of work. I will feel I am neglecting the most important things in my life more than I already feellike. I am  so sad. This modern-day society of work work work work work just doesn't feel right with young children. I want my children. I just don't want the sacrifices I have to make. by sacrifices I mean either choosing to be away from them for most of the time or living in poverty. Having money to give them the very best seems to be winning out. I hope that's the right choice in the end.

On Friday I had all three children in the morning and we tried to hang out at the park and have a little fun. It was a beautiful fall day. This was a self-portrait of the four of us.

Four month checkup - easy peesey

Today Clair had her four month checkup with Dr Clarence. 

She is perfect! And that's not just a mothers perception. Dr agreed!

She's 95% in height for her age and 84% in weight! She's growing well an dr thinks she's meant to be a big girl!

Funny part was when the nurse gave her the shot, I kept waiting for the tears, but instead Clair just stared her down, nearly with a smile! Max was signing twinkle twinkle to her to help her not be scared - it must have worked!!!

He's such a great big brother and loves her so much!

Maternity leave

As maternity leave comes to an end, I want to recap my accomplishments for my own sanity. It's been a great five months!

Clair born! Family complete!

Nursing - four months and counting

Healthy, strong ad happy baby

Clair sleeps in her bed and naps pretty well at four months

Max potty trained

Max started Sunday school

Starting to be able to play with max again and keep up with him

Ellie was a flower girl

Ellie in kindergarten and happy with it

Many picnics, park time and times with cousins

Library and story time

Beach trip for family

Driveway done

PT for knees

Started exercise routine

Lots of cooking and improvements on healthy eating

Kids eat same dinners ( mostly )

Started making baby food at home

Created photo albums throw June

Kept blog up

I'm sure there rid more, but this is pretty good. I'm also returning to work two weeks earlier then planned! My challenge to myself is to be forgiving and realize there's no way I will be able to keep up with things. Good luck to me!